Christmas cake recipe, a must read!!

Ingredients:
1 cup butter, 4 large eggs, 1 cup sugar, 1 cup dried fruit,
1 tablespoon baking powder, 1 tablespoon salt, lemon juice,
1 cup brown sugar, nuts, 1 or 2 litres of Brandy

Before starting , sample brandy to check quality.
Good isn't it? Now go ahead.
Select large mixing bowl, measuring cups, etc.
Check the brandy again - it must be just right.
To be sure, pour one level cup and drink as fast as you can.
Repeat.
With an electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of thugar and beat again.
Meanwhile make sure the brandy is of the finest quality.
Cry another tup.
Open second litre if necessary.
Add tow large legs, 2 cups dried fruit and beat til high.
If fruit gets stuck in beaters, pry loose with drewscriver.
Check brandy again for tonscisticity.
Next sift 3 cups of salt, or anything else - it doesn't matter.
Sample brandy again.
Sift lemon juice and fold in chopped butter and strained nuts.
Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar - or whatever colour you can find -
and mix well.
Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gridees.
Pour whole mess into coven and ake.
Check brandy and bow to ged.