Reading Totty's poem on her blog, reminded me of a poem I loved as a child by Pam Ayres. Here is the first one about teeth... it helps to read it in a farmer sort of way like she did, lol. This poem could have been written for me! LOL! The second one makes me laugh as well.
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OH, I WISH I'D LOOKED AFTER MY TEETH
by Pam Ayres
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth,
And spotted the perils beneath,
All the toffees I chewed,
And the sweet sticky food,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.
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I wish I'd been that much more willin'
When I had more tooth there than fillin'
To pass up gobstoppers,
From respect to me choppers
And to buy something else with me shillin'.
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When I think of the lollies I licked,
And the liquorice allsorts I picked,
Sherbet dabs, big and little,
All that hard peanut brittle,
My conscience gets horribly pricked.
.
My Mother, she told me no end,
"If you got a tooth, you got a friend"
I was young then, and careless,
My toothbrush was hairless,
I never had much time to spend.
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Oh I showed them the toothpaste all right,
I flashed it about late at night,
But up-and-down brushin'
And pokin' and fussin'
Didn't seem worth the time... I could bite!
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If I'd known I was paving the way,
To cavities, caps and decay,
The murder of fillin's
Injections and drillin's
I'd have thrown all me sherbet away.
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So I lay in the old dentist's chair,
And I gaze up his nose in despair,
And his drill it do whine,
In these molars of mine,
"Two amalgum," he'll say, "for in there."
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How I laughed at my Mother's false teeth,
As they foamed in the waters beneath,
But now comes the reckonin'
It's me they are beckonin'
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.
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OH NO, I GOT A COLD
by Pam Ayres
I am sitting on the sofa.
By the fire and staying in.
Me head is free of comfort
And me nose is free of skin
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Me friends have run for cover,
They have left me pale and sick
With me pockets full of tissues
And me nostrils full of Vick
.
That bloke in the telly adverts,
He's supposed to have a cold.
He has a swig of whatnot
And he drops off, good as gold,
.
His face like snowing harvest
Slips into sweet repose.
Well I bet this tortured breathing
Never whistled down his nose.
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I burnt me bit of dinner
Cause I've lost me sense of smell,
But then, I couldn't taste it,
So that worked out very well,
.
I'd buy some, down the cafe,
But I know that at the till,
A voice from work will softly say
"I thought that you were ill".
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So I'm wrapped up in a blanket
With me feet up on a stool,
I've watched the telly programmes
And the kids come home from school,
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But what I haven't watched for
Is any sympathy,
Cause all you ever get is:
"Oh no, keep away from me!"
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Medicinal discovery,
It moves in mighty leaps,
It leapt straight past the common cold
And gave it us for keeps.
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Now I'm not a fussy woman,
There's no malice in me eye
But I wish that they could cure
the common cold.
That's all. Goodbye.
...
