Wednesday, 21 December 2011

A Christmas Warning!!!!

Warning:

Anyone planning to dash through the snow
in a one horse open sleigh, going over the
fields and laughing all the way are advised
that a Risk Assessment will be required
addressing the safety of an open sleigh for
members of the public. This assessment
must also consider whether it is appropriate
to use only one horse for such a venture,
particularly where there are multiple
passengers.
...
Please note that permission must also be
obtained in writing from landowners before
their fields may be entered. To avoid
offending those not participating in
celebrations, we would request that
laughter is moderate only and not loud
enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are
now available for collection by any
shepherds planning or required to watch
their flocks at night. While provision has
also been made for remote monitoring of
flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally
heated shepherd observation hut, all users
of this facility are reminded that an
emergency response plan must be submitted
to account for known risks to the flocks.

The angel of the Lord is additionally
reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory
all around, s/he must confirm that all
shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal
Protective Equipment to account for the
harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the
overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last year’s well-publicised case,
everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities
legislation prohibits any comment with
regard to the redness of any part of Mr R
Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R
Reindeer from reindeer games will be
considered discriminatory and disciplinary
action will be taken against those found
guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is
a common practice in various parts of the
world, particularly the Orient, everyone is
reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject
to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must
be registered. This applies regardless of the
individual, even royal personages. It is
particularly noted that direct gifts of
currency or gold are specifically precluded,
while caution is advised regarding other
common gifts such as aromatic resins that
may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent instance of the infant
found tucked up in a manger without any
crib for a bed, Social Services have been
advised and will be arriving shortly.

3 comments:

  1. This had me cracking up! Love your blog dress too. So cute with Santa and the reindeer flying across the top!

    I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas!

    ~Linnea

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL!!!!!!

    Loved the pic's of your tree. I love interesting trees with lits of different things on them. Good Lor! Haven't taken a pic of mine yet!

    Can we come over for gingerbread?

    ReplyDelete
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